I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
