Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
