how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
