Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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