Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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