That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
