He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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