There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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