The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
