he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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