Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
worst night to have a conscience
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
