I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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