u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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