I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
