...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
