I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
