So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
