i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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