K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
