Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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