Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
