i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
