My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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