I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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