You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
