why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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