Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
