we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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