so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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