New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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