How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
