too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
