I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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