White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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