Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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