If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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