Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
