They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
