the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
