You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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