saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
