just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
