if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
