I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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