he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
