Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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