Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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