HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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