I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
nutella sex= disaster
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
