fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
