just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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