Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
