I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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