new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
